Sunday, June 6, 2010

Missing One

We are missing one.

A special someone who should have turned one tomorrow. Would he have been walking? Saying his first words?

I can't help but wonder how big he would have been. I know he would have been beautiful and sweet and kind. I know he would have been loved.

It was only a year ago when I got that dreaded call in the middle of the night and found myself driving to Yale New Haven at 2:00 in the morning. The chance of him surviving was slim. He was only with us on earth for one week. I have been dreading reliving it because honestly the pain is still deep. I have never felt anything so gut-wrenching and terrible.

And I imagine my sister. How she must relive it often. It breaks my heart and makes me want to remember all the lessons we learned from it. All the insight gained.

Funny that I would have an Aha moment today. I will share more on that later, but it was what I was waiting for for a few weeks now. Thank you sweet angel...

We are missing one. Even in this photograph. I made this for my mom as a Mother's Day gift. There are only seven shown. But if you look closely, I have the number 8 on there.



I wonder about him now. Our baby James. I worry about who is watching over him in heaven. What is he like? I wish we got the chance to know.

We will forever be missing one...

14 comments:

  1. This just makes me so sad. :( We lost our Jeffrey 6 years ago, and it still hurts. I pray for peace for your family.

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  2. My thoughts go out to you and your family... xxoo

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  3. Thinking of you and your family. My friend just celebrated her angel baby's first birthday and my heart aches for her.

    what a beautiful tribute your page is.

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  4. Oh, Stacey, such a sad day for your family tomorrow. Wishing you comfort and peace.

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  5. This is so beautiful and heartbreaking all at the same time. I can't even imagine how difficult it still must be for all of you. I hope that one day you'll find peace and comfort.

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  6. I had no idea-but I will be thinking of you tomorrow. Take care.

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  7. I am so sorry for your families loss. So sad but such a wonderful layout to pay tribute to little James. Praying and sending positive thoughts to you all!

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  8. *sigh* I am so so so sorry for your family's loss...this just breaks my heart.....but i know that he is being watched over in heaven....all babies are (imo....) :) I loveeeeeeeeeeeee that lo...sooooooo sweet to make it for your Mama and including the number 8...very special! :)

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  9. I adore the LO....so glad that you counted James.....such a sad time....made my heart heavy for you and your family!!!!

    I am holding you close in my thoughts and in my heart!!!

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  10. Beautiful layout & heartfelt moving posts. It's good to remember them even though it hurts. That short time he was with you with you was special & as a believer you know you will all see him in Heaven. Don't worry Jesus is making sure little James is just fine. I pray for your family.

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  11. My thoughts and prayers are with your family. I can't even begin to imagine what y'all go through daily.

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  12. Hi Stacey,
    I still think about your little James and the heartache your family must be going through -- even now a year later. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

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  13. I'm so sorry about your families loss, Stacey!! Your layout is a wonderful tribute.

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  14. What a heartwrenchingly beautiful post...my thoughts are with your family on the anniversary.

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